When the right guy finds you it’s important that he finds YOU and not a version that you have put on just to impress him.
At first pulling off an ‘I’ve got it all together’ image may seem easy…But eventually we all have to let our hair down.
Ask yourself the following questions…
Has he ever seen me without make-up?
I once had a friend who had been going out with her boyfriend for five years and during this time he had never seen her without makeup, false nails and fake eye lashes…This is scary. You should feel comfortable enough around the guy you like to dress down and not feel pressurised to be fixed every second. He should be able to see you in your most less than airbrushed and fashionable state and still see the same you that he fell for in the first place.
Does he know about my bad eating habits?
Suddenly everyone is a vegan, vegetarian and breatharian …I’m still yet to come to terms with how you can survive off life’s oxygen alone? Swiftly moving on…If you’re naturally someone who maintains a healthy lifestyle that’s fine, but don’t force yourself into eating habits that you’re not comfortable with just to impress him. So what if you love chocolate, cheese and onion crisps and chips. If you truly feel yourself around him, you won’t feel the need to hide bad eating habits, if anything he won’t make you feel embarrassed about your weaknesses but will encourage you to overcome them.
Will my weirdness scare him?
Okay there are definitely some things you should go to grave with, but everyone has a weird trait or THREEabout them. For instance I have a phobia of leather, I used to eat chalk and wallpaper plaster and I’ve cried at X Factor…Ain’t no shame in ma game! Your will to be weird is your resolution to be real. A guy that gives you permission to be a nut case is letting you know that he loves your individuality and isn’t afraid that you’re different from everyone else.
Can I express my emotions with him?
I have heard young women admit that their boyfriends have never seen them cry like it’s some kind of personal trophy. You’re supposed to be able to cry in front of him, not cause you’re a girl but because your human. A real guy knows that your tears are a sign of your strength and isn’t afraid of your big heart. You should never feel the need to apologise to him for being sensitive or emotional.
Does he allow me to put myself first?
Michelle Obama was once asked during an interview if she thought it was selfish to make herself her first priority, to which she replied, “No, not at all. It’s practical…. a lot of times we just slip pretty low on our own priority list because we’re so busy caring for everyone else.”In reality even he knows that there is no guarantee that he will stay 100% true to you…Unless in the future you require him to put a ring on it…So with that being said, he should definitely allow you the space to be true to your own needs first and foremost.
Is it okay for me to UNPOLOGETICALLY be myself around him?
This question kind of ties in all the other questions asked before…So does he? Do you really have the courage to take the mask off, let go of the idea of ‘perfectionism’ and be the real YOU? If the answer is no, then there is one of two things you have just identified 1. You have some serious self-esteem issues to overcome and 2.You have some serious self-esteem issues to overcome and being with him isn’t going to help to improve on them.
Skool Girl says: “Someone who is going to become a permanent part of your life should be able to embrace, enhance, and compliment you in such a way that they literally feel like the other half that makes you whole…NOT humiliated.”
Cover photo: weheartit
