Skool Girl Online Editor's Letter: What Are You Most Afraid Of?

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I will never forget the time I watched Oprah’s Next Chapter and she asks Hugh Jackman “What are you most afraid of?”

He replies: “I hate it sometimes when fear gets in the way. I hate that feeling of fear. I hate being afraid. I was a very fearful kid. I was afraid of the dark, I was afraid of heights, I froze rock climbing and I hated the idea and I made myself get over those fears. But if anything comes up (and I know you can relate to this), if I feel frightened of it I have to attack it because I am terrified that it will creep into other areas of my life and just start to take over.”

Oprah then asks: “So what were you afraid of?”

Hugh Jackman says: “Not being my best. Not being my best when it mattered.”

This is one of the most profound moments I have ever seen in an interview. For 39 seconds I completely identified with Hugh’s attitude towards fear. I came to realise that fear is something that no one can escape, it is no respecter of persons and we are all faced with it at some stage in our life. But what I discovered in this interview is the challenge is not fear itself. The real challenge is in how you deal with it.

I have always been terrified of not being my best. YOU?Yes me. But like Hugh I get so afraid that I make myself do something even if it scares the life out of me.

I remember saying to Shara: ”Shad, I am getting lazy because I set my alarm clock for 5.00am and slept in until 6.30am.”

Shara replied: “Lazy? Stop being ridiculous. Sleeping in doesn’t mean your lazy, it just means you’re tired.”

It may sound like I am being pedantic, but part of me being at my best is to have discipline, and for me this involves sticking to time and when I don’t do that I have a fear of becoming lazy.

What makes us afraid will differ depending on who we are and what circumstances we are faced with, but the reaction remains the same – to do? or to not do? To be? or not to be? to try or not to try? to go for it or give up? When they said life is a daily battle, it wasn’t an exaggeration. If we’re not afraid of following our dreams, were afraid of making choices, making the right or wrong decisions, the dark, failure, spiders, germs, people or even “Lazy? Stop being ridiculous. Sleeping in doesn’t mean your lazy, it just means you’re tired.”

But what about when we break it down. What is fear?

Oxford dictionary’s definitions:

An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
A feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety of someone.
The likelihood of something unwelcome happening.

The definition I like to go by:

False Evidence Appearing Real

When you begin to pull out words in it’s definition’s such as ‘emotion’, ‘feeling’, ‘likelihood’– how we‘feel’and what is ‘likely’ to be does not make it a reality. If it’s raining outside is it likely to be a bad day? If you don’t feel like doing something, does it mean you shouldn’t do it? You draw a very thin line when you rely solely on how you feel to make all your of your decisions, and the same goes for constant reliance on all your ‘likelihoods’.

Look at it from this perspective, if it’s easy then everyone would be doing it…I think BBC One’s The Apprentice proves my point pretty well! Fear gives us the opportunity to take a risk and to do something that everyone else was too afraid to do. Hence the reason why I don’t hate it anymore. In fact I’m more annoyed that it took me so long to realise that I have the power to make fear work to my advantage and not the other way around.

Life will constantly throw challenges at you, some will be small and some HUMUNGOUS, but when these challenges come don’t run from them, face them, embrace them…In other words, FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY!

This month is all about making a choice. It’s make or break season. Remember, fear can only break you with your permission, so imagine what it can make of you when you give yourself permission to conquer it? DARE TO BE FEARLESS OR DARE TO BE BRAVELY FEARFUL…Same thing.

That is all.

Yours truly