Aunty Esha: How Do I Find My True Purpose?
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Share your life problems, concerns and worries with our Agony Aunt and professional, qualified Counsellor, Esha Johnson.

Shy girl

Question: I am quite shy and not talkative and feel that this stops me from getting involved with my peeps, making new friends or even just trying something new. How do you suggest I find my true purpose and identity in an educational institution whilst trying to come out of my shell? – Melissa, 19 from Birmingham

Dear Melissa,

Firstly, congratulations! You have already overcome one barrier by embarking on further education. My suggestion to you is to take a risk and come out of your comfort zone.

In order to get involved you have to be involved. Ask yourself, what are my interests? Or What do I like doing?, when you discover the answers to these questions, then find like-minded people who share the same interests, whilst allowing you to be yourself. There is nothing wrong with being quiet; and getting involved with other people does not mean you need to be loud and rowdy.

Regarding your identity, simply just be who you are and with time allow yourself to develop gradually. In life, we can sometimes observe others and assume that there is something wrong with the way we are, but if quietness is part of your nature then why not embrace it?

Also remember that sometimes while you are trying to change yourself to accommodate others, there is is always someone who is also wishing they could be more like you. It is important that any change you make with regards to your character is for you and not to please others. I encourage you to enjoy being where you are at for the moment and make that your purpose.

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